Posts Tagged ‘honest’

Of any of you have read any of my earlier blogs you’ll be aware that I suffer from depression as well as various other things but this I concentrated on depression.

There are days where my depression can wrap it’s self around every part of me and pull me into a dark it and while there are days it paralyses me, there are days it won’t let me sleep and there are times where it feeds my writing.

Most of my writing is very dark and sometimes my depression acts as a secondary muse and fuels various tales. It’s strange, I get that, but it works.

I was diagnosed with depression in February of 2009 when my Ehlers Danlos kicked into overdrive but I knew the ‘sadness’ was there for as long as I remember. I was, like many others, in denial about it and I refused to ask for help.

Now I’m medicated and it helps but there are days, usually days where my pain levels are sky high where I am reluctant to get out of bed unless I have to. It’s not healthy, I get that, but the dark hole is just too big and those are the days were food doesn’t matter in the slightest; I am consumed by the black hole inside of me.

I am writing this to tell those who have depression that they are not alone and that the days where the sadness isn’t paralyzing that it’s possible to achieve things. Look at what I’ve managed to do, I have two books out on sale, a short in an anthology that is selling well even though it was only released on the 18th. I have two releases coming up early next year and I have four other books that my publisher wants plus a few others that I’m working on.

Yes, I have depression

Yes, I have meds for it

Yes I know I have it

Yes I live with it

I won’t let it define me

I won’t let it control me

I won’t let it win

I won’t let it beat me

 

There may be days where it fogs me up

There may be day where it conspires against me

There may be day it won’t let me sleep

There may be days it makes me want to hide

I love

I laugh

I fight

I win

And a side night, you can have depression and laugh

 

I am blessed that I am surrounded by people who care about me and make me feel safe.

If you think you have depression please speak to you doctor. Don’t wait until it’s dangerously bad before you ask for help or do something you can’t undo.

 

Let’s fight against mental illness in all its forms and stop the stigma attached to it.

That’s enough rambling from me.

Happy Wednesday.

Simone

 

Hello guys

It’s Saturday again, time seems to fly by, it really does. I’ve been busy the week with promotion and writing Dirty Little Secret, the sequel to Spilt Blood and I can’t wait until it’s done. Once I get a little sleep I’ll be back on the writing train. I love the feeling of writing and creating a new world, I really do. A world where I make the rules and people are those I create with issues I create. There is,  and I’m being honest, a part of me in all my main characters. Joslyn is a strong independent women with a darkness festering inside. She’s a mage with power untapped.  The bit of me she has is the realization she is that she doesn’t realise her true potential or think of the worth she has. Yes, I’be had self image issues my entire life.

Love you all
Happy writing

Simone